Hagrid made them tea and offered them stoat sandwiches, which they refused (Philosopher’s UK 169, US 231).

Professor McGonagall raised her wand again and pointed it at Snape’s desk. A large plate of sandwiches, two silver goblets and a jug of iced pumpkin juice appeared with a pop …. ‘Can you believe our luck though?’ said Ron thickly through a mouthful of chicken and ham. (Chamber UK 65, US 83)

Our friends had a Harry Potter-themed baby shower…because of course they did…and it was a potluck, so I decided to make tea sandwiches!

HAGRID’S (VEGETARIAN) STOAT SANDWICHES
(Just like real stoat! But without any stoat in it…or not very much, anyway.)

Ingredients:

• Whole wheat bread
• Whipped cream cheese
• Black olives, finely chopped
• Green olives, finely chopped
• Toasted slivered almonds
• Ground sumac (can be found at Middle Eastern grocery stores, or online from Penzeys)
• Aleppo pepper (ditto)
• Salt
• Pepper

Directions:

1. Mix all ingredients together to taste. (Sorry, I didn’t measure anything.) If you don’t have sumac, add a little lemon juice. For the aleppo pepper, you can substitute paprika and a dash of cayenne.

2. Spread the mixture onto slices of bread, cut off the crusts sort of messily, and cut the sandwiches into crooked squares, Hagrid-style.

Did it measure up?
Well, I needed to make a vegetarian sandwich. I figured since nobody knows what a stoat is, I could do whatever I wanted as long as it looked kind of gross and tasted pretty good.I thought Hagrid would use whole wheat bread, even though Miko hates it. It seems more rustic.

The sumac tints everything a weird purplish color, the olives look like unidentified bits of stoat, and the almonds provide an unsettling crunch. Thumbs up!

MCGONAGALL’S CHICKEN AND HAM SANDWICHES

Ingredients:

• White bread
• Softened KerryGold butter (the Official Butter of 36 Eggs)
• Finely chopped cooked chicken of some kind — I like Trader Joe’s Simply Sliced Roast Chicken Breast.
• Kewpie mayonnaise (the Official Mayonnaise of 36 Eggs)
• Curry powder
• Salt
• Pepper
• Dill
• Sliced ham

Directions:

1. Mix chicken, mayo, and seasonings together.

 

3. Assemble sandwiches, cut off the crusts, and cut the sandwiches into charming triangles.

Did it measure up?
Yeah, these were super-delicious! I ate a very large number of them. (Miko: As did I — they were awesome.)