Author: Rowling, J.K.
Book: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Difficulty rating: Little Women (but only because of the custard; otherwise, it would be Harry Potter)
Deliciousness rating: Acceptable
Three helpings of rhubarb crumble and custard later and the waistband of Harry’s jeans was feeling uncomfortably tight. (Rowling UK 82-83, US 86-87)
While Jenne was busy making sandwiches for our friend’s adorable HP-themed baby shower, I was struggling to make rhubarb crumble and custard (or the “Viktor Krum-ble,” as they called it).
Ingredients:MRS WEASLEY’S RHUBARB CRUMBLE AND CUSTARD
Adapted from BBC Good Food‘s recipe
- 500g rhubarb, chopped into chunks the length of your thumb
- 100g sugar
- 2 tbsp port
- Crumble topping
- 140g self-raising flour
- 85g cold butter
- 50g brown sugar
- 600ml heavy cream
- 6 egg yolks
- 4 tbs sugar
- 2 tsp corn starch
- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1. Prepare custard: first, heat cream until steaming but not boiling.
2. Mix together egg yolks, 4 tbs sugar, corn starch, and vanilla extract in a bowl.
3. Pour the cream onto the eggs, stirring continuously as you pour.
4. Pour everything back into the saucepan and put over medium heat.
5. Stir until the custard thickens, about 10 minutes.
6. Pass the custard through a sieve into a serving dish. Or a jug if you have one. (I do not have a jug, but apparently British people have jugs everywhere, judging by how often they’re used in recipes.)7. Now the rhubarb crumble. Put the rhubarb into a saucepan with the sugar and port. Cover and simmer on a very low heat for 15 mins, adding more sugar if you want. When soft (but still holding its shape) and sweet enough, pour the rhubarb into a medium baking dish.
8. Heat the oven to 200C. To make the topping, rub the flour and butter together with your fingers until you have a soft, crumbly topping. Add the brown sugar, mixing it together with your hands.
9. Scatter the topping over the rhubarb and bake for 30 minutes or until golden brown on top.
10. Serve hot out of the oven with the custard.
Did it measure up?
I want you know that to make this dish, I had to go on a Great Rhubarb Quest. I checked two Sprouts locations and a specialty produce store to no avail. Luckily, Paul, the kindly produce guy at La Mesa Sprouts, dug me out a box from the shipment and called me. Thank you, Paul!
Now…for this blog, Jenne is the chef, and I am the notetaker. There is a reason for this. I am not an experienced cook, and I tend to miss important steps in the recipe when I go it on my own. Like with this crumble, guess who forgot to put the sugar in the crumble topping? Yes indeed. I was wondering why it wouldn’t brown in the oven, even though it was way past time…. The top was so pale and sad — “anemic,” Paul Hollywood would say — and weirdly savory. In the end, I decided to mix some sugar in as best as I could and broil it really quick. I’d never broiled anything before, so that was terrifying too. In the end, it was salvaged and edible, though the rhubarb had gotten a bit mushy from overcooking.
The port is a bit much — it tastes like grape Kool-Aid. If I make this crumble again, I would omit the port. The custard was also a bit grainy. My mother’s recipe is better — I will post hers when we make Marilla’s matchless plum puffs!
Rowling, J.K. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. London: Bloomsbury, 2003.
Rowling, J.K. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. New York: Scholastic Inc., 2003.